The Deification of Maleness & Masculinity

A Call to Confession for the Sin of Idolatry

Rev. Andrea Roske-Metcalfe, Associate Pastor at Grace Lutheran Church of Apple Valley, MN

Long afterward, Oedipus, old and blinded, walked the roads. He smelled a familiar smell. It was the Sphinx. Oedipus said, “I want to ask one question. Why didn’t I recognize my mother?”        

“You gave the wrong answer,” said the Sphinx.      

“But that was what made everything possible,” said Oedipus.    

“No,” she said. “When I asked, What walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three in the evening, you answered, Man. You didn’t say anything about woman.”

“When you say Man,” said Oedipus, “you include women too. Everyone knows that.”      

She said, “That’s what you think.”[i]

13405667_10153438242250728_1392988140_oWe always begin with confession. During worship in the church where I’m a pastor, we first welcome the people, point out that everyone is invited to the table for communion; maybe mention the reason behind the flowers on the altar. It’s light, sometimes we crack a joke…we’re just gathering, you know? But we’re also not messing around. We begin worship, just after that, by confessing our sins. We do this, not because we are defined by our sins or because our tradition lays the guilt on thick, but rather because it centers us. It reminds us, corporately, of the work we have left to do in bringing about the kin-dom of God, and of the work we will never be able to do on our own, which leaves God an awful lot to work with. Confessing our sins, and then hearing words of forgiveness and absolution, centers us for worship, which is where we rehearse the kin-dom of God.

We always begin with confession. Dear friends, today is no different. Today, we confess the sin of idolatry, in particular the ways in which we deify maleness and masculinity.

It is not a good day to be a woman, or a girl, for that matter. I’m not sure it ever has been, but just in case you thought things were looking up, allow me to be the one to burst your bubble. Just in case you figured, you know, now that we have the right to vote and all, everything is fine, allow me to be the one to pull your head out of the sand…or wherever else you may have put it.

Just in case you figured everything was fine, let me point out that men are now free to rape women behind dumpsters, and then when they are convicted of multiple federal crimes by a jury of their peers, their sentences will be reduced to a joke. It helps, in this case, if the rapist is white and attending a prestigious university, because then the press will use his senior portrait in almost all the news coverage, rather than his mug shot. It also helps, apparently, if the rapist is an excellent swimmer, because then the judge responsible for the sentencing can point to all the potential – all the swimming potential – that will be lost if this young rapist is forced to serve the amount of time dictated by the law.

And just in case you figured everything was fine, a recent ruling in Oklahoma now means that men can force women to have oral sex without being charged with rape or forcible sodomy, just so long as long as the woman is unconscious.

Yes, dear friends, you read that right. If a young man happens upon a young woman at a party, in her bedroom, or in the library, for crying out loud, and she’s had too much to drink, or – God forbid – she’s been drugged, she’s in a diabetic coma, or she’s simply SLEEPING, he is within the limits of the law to just whip it out and stick his dick in her mouth.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinkin’ the right to vote didn’t quite cut it.

Today, we confess the sin of idolatry, in particular the ways in which we deify maleness and masculinity.

In 1973, in her book Beyond God the Father, Mary Daly wrote, “If God is male, then the male is God.” To say she caught a bit of flack for it would be an understatement, but it’s no less a controversial statement today than it was 43 years ago. In most mainline Protestant churches, and in practically all evangelical and Roman Catholic churches, the language we use for God is exclusively male.

It matters.

People will say it doesn’t. They say it all the time. Both women and men will say things like, “We use that language, but we all know that God isn’t actually male!”

But do we? And if that’s true, then why is there so much pushback whenever anyone refers to God as She? (After all, we use that language, but we all know that God isn’t actually female.)

Language matters. The words we use matter. And in a world where roles and expectations are still so divided along the gender binary, the words we use to indicate gender matter more than ever.

When we understand God as male, consciously or subconsciously, we deify maleness, and we deify masculinity. When men and boys worship on Sunday morning hearing words used for God that are also used to refer to them, they grow up understanding in a visceral way that they are created in the image of God. When women and girls worship on Sunday morning hearing words used for God that are also used to refer to their fathers and brothers and sons, they grow up understanding that men and boys are created in the image of God.

When women and girls worship on Sunday morning never hearing words used for God that are also used to refer to them, they do not grow up understanding, in the same visceral way, that they are created in the image of God. This, in and of itself, is violence on the part of the church. More dangerously, when men and boys worship on Sunday morning never hearing words used for God that are also used to refer to their mothers and sisters and daughters, they do not grow up understanding that women and girls are created in the image of God in the same way that they are.

Language matters. And we have been idolatrous in our use of it when we talk about God.

In many cases, we don’t even need to bring God into this to make the same point: How many people still believe that “mankind” encapsulates all of humanity? And how many of those same people would be horrified if we started referring to all of humanity as “womankind?”

That secular kind of gender erasure has done irreparable harm to our collective psyche, to both men and women alike. But take that to the level of the divine, and now we have a different kind of problem.

Now we have real sin. Now we must begin with confession.

If we truly understand that women and girls are created in the image of God, then we must talk about God like we mean it. In the most recent hymnal of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, published in 2006, there are two options listed for most parts of the worship liturgy. In some cases, both options use gender-neutral language for God. In most cases, one option uses male pronouns, and the other uses gender-neutral language. But nowhere in the entire book are female pronouns ever provided in reference to God. Furthermore, for both the Creeds and the Lord’s Prayer, no alternative option is given; for what many of us understand to be the “holiest” pieces of the liturgy, we are expected to name God as male.

This is not merely an academic argument. The deification of maleness and masculinity has consequences more far-reaching that we can even imagine. We desecrate the very image of God when we limit its expansiveness in this way, and God is weeping as a result.

Nothing less than the absolute deification of maleness and masculinity would allow us to tolerate a candidate for president ridiculing a female political commentator for doing her job by making a joke about menstrual bleeding. If a female presidential candidate had made a joke about a male political commentator’s nocturnal emissions, would her candidacy not be over the very next day?

Nothing less than the absolute deification of maleness and masculinity would result in the Equal Rights Amendment having yet to be signed into law, even though the constitutional amendment to ensure equal rights for women was first introduced to the U.S. Congress in 1923.

Nothing less than the absolute deification of maleness and masculinity would leave our country as one of only seven in the entire world to have yet to ratify the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Violence Against Women, leaving the U.S. in the company of the likes of Iran, Somalia, and Sudan when it comes to upholding the rights of women.

Nothing less than the absolute deification of maleness and masculinity would provide us with a male chairperson of the 60th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women who, when asked about that startling paradox, states that “lots of men and boys can relate better to male leaders.”

Nothing less than the absolute deification of maleness and masculinity would give us stories like the 19 Yazidi women burned alive in metal cages, executed horrifically as hundreds of people looked on, simply because they refused to have sex with ISIS fighters. Or the gunman in Santa Barbara who opened fire at a sorority house, killing six people and wounding 13, as a punishment to women for not being attracted to him. Or story after story after story after story followed with the hashtag #YesAllWomen. These stories only exist because so many men are under the impression that they have the right to use women’s bodies for their own pleasure, in any way they see fit.

Because they understand, in a visceral way, that they are created in the image of God. They do not understand, in the same visceral way, that women and girls are, too. And we in the church are complicit in that, when we contribute to the deification of maleness and masculinity, by the language we use to name God.

When I lead worship, we always begin with confession, and it is always followed by a declaration of forgiveness and absolution. But there is no absolution for us now.

Forgiveness requires repentance, you see, and we have not even begun to recognize the depth of our sin or the devastation of its consequences.

And God is weeping.



[i] Myth, by Muriel Rukeyser, originally published in Breaking Open (1973)

12 thoughts on “The Deification of Maleness & Masculinity

  1. Well said. This really is a deeply serious matter and it’s a matter of life and death. “Over half of the people on the planet are female and any Christian leader today jolly well better acknowledge that. If there’s an Abba, there’s an Amma. Long gone are the days when one could say “but male words such as he and his are ‘gender neutral in English’ and therefore women (and men) shouldn’t have a problem with seeing the Divine only referred to with male terminology.” See: “Let’s Change the Lord’s Payer – Again”

    Roger Wolsey, author, “Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don’t like christianity”


  2. I agree that we fall short of the equality that we sometimes want to claim. I haven’t experienced it personally, but I know it is real. I agree that the recent news items that you mention are horribly outrageous to the point of being unbelievable. How can the totality, the outcomes, of these stories ever be true? It ought to make a person sick.

    I also think there is a need to be careful not to imply that ALL men believe that it is acceptable to rape a woman and suffer no consequences. Not all of us believe that. Not all of us are horrible and trying to keep women down. Do we need to speak up more? Probably, at least I ought to be a bolder advocate for leveling the playing field and helping women and girls to see that they are made in God’s image. I just ask that as you and others push hard (as you need to) for justice that you all don’t push so hard that people like me feel alienated and left neutered to the point that it doesn’t even feel worth joining in the fight.

    Finally, I hope you can see that I am not trying to attack and in fact am trying to be helpful. (Whether I am being helpful or not is an entirely different discussion.) If, in my attempts to try and be helpful, I have been hurtful or committed some of the errors that you are warning us all against I am truly and honestly sorry.


    1. Brad, I appreciate your support for this post, and I hear what you’re saying. I’ll admit that I’ve struggled for more than a decade with how to communicate my thoughts on this issue without alienating men and/or putting my future employment in the church at risk.

      But I’m tired, and editing my thoughts and my speech and my writing to protect male fragility is exhausting, so I’m done, quite frankly.

      This probably sounds mean, or like I’m angry with you for your reaction. I’m not. I get it. Your reaction to this article is similar to the reaction I have when people of color make bold, biting, accurate statements about racism and white privilege: “Wait, but *I’m* white, and I think the system sucks just as much as they do!” But that’s when I have to check my privilege, recognize that they’re not talking about me as an individual, but that they *are*, in fact, talking about me as part of the problem. Because as a white person, I contribute more to the systems of racism and white privilege than people of color ever can, just like men contribute more to the systems of sexism and rape culture than women ever can. Which means that if I want to participate in dismantling those systems and structures, I have a job to do.

      And the first part of that job is to check my privilege, and to check my white fragility, and then invite others to do the same.

      So while I never implied in this article that “ALL men believe that it is acceptable to rape a woman and suffer no consequences,” I understand temptation to hear it that way. And I hope you understand that, while it’s abundantly clear to me that #NotAllMen think that the current systems of sexism and rape culture (both inside and outside the church) are the way things should be, it’s also abundantly clear to me that #YesAllWomen suffer the consequences. And in the same way that it’s up to me, as a white person, to participate in changing the status quo in regard to racism and white privilege by first checking my white fragility and then inviting other white people to do the same, so it’s up to you, as a man, to participate in changing the status quo in regard to sexism and rape culture by first checking your male fragility and then inviting other men to do the same.

      I honestly think this would change the world.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Andrea,
        Very intriguing article. I do not agree with your view of God’s gender identity, but I appreciate your bringing up the injustices that women have suffered as a result of systemic inequality. I couldn’t agree more that women deserve respect and kindness from men. I am wondering if you could tell me what your view of Genesis 1 is? Or what your view of the Bible is and how it influences your views as a Pastor. I have found after reading it more, the claims I used to make about its insufficiency fall short. The more I read the words of Jesus, the more I see that disregarding the words of the Bible (even the Old Testament) tends to be a matter of opinion, which becomes dangerous. If God is who he claims to be (omnipotent, omnipresent, all powerful, fair, just, loving, and true), why would we dare make the claim that we know better than he does and therefore choose to Make the Bible a series of full-in-the-blanks?


      2. Andrea,

        Thank you for your response, your understanding, and your clarification. Thank you as well for having the courage to share in this bold way. While I may not agree with ALL that you said, and I’m sure you really pissed off a lot of people, you have inspired a good deal of dialogue around an important subject. I pray, and trust, that those dialogues might bear much fruit.

        Brad <

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Is there not a way to elevate women, check men, and strengthen the relationships between the genders without claiming the use of masculine personal pronouns is sin? We can’t use perfect language – all we can do is increase the scope of language. I wish I could confidently say my insecurities as a woman and mysogyny in the courts could be cured by the generation that gets the language right, but then we’d be making an idol of the words, too.

    The whole picture of God – the whole story – has male and Father components (not least of which is Christ) – and female. The Word (in all its authority and completeness) is God (John 1); and in Jesus we have salvation. There is no other way, truth or life and we have to teach our children to see themselves in Christ – Jesus is the one we follow. He – who was a man and also God – is our hope and light.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And I believe we have done that. We have patterned the acceptable Christian life and experience so fully after Jesus that we said that women couldn’t serve at the altar. That women didn’t know what it was to be Jesus because they didn’t have the right gentalia and so on and so on. In order to achieve anything even close to middle ground we need to swing far in the opposite direction.


      1. I’m not so sure about swinging far in the opposite direction. To me that implies hurting the other end of the spectrum (males in this case) and therefore begins to sound like trying to make things right with a couple of wrongs. We certainly need to correct course. In fact, I think we’ve begun that with women the pulpit, etc. Problem is we have a whole lot more correcting to do. If we err on the side of swinging too far in the opposite direction so be it, but let’s not try and be intentional about going too far the other way.


  4. You’re living in a world of make-believe. Bad things happen to people when they cede power to others and your imagined ‘deification’ can’t do anything. If you want things to change, you must address the foundations of human behavior, which means evidence, not the leaps of imagination without empirical warrant that you give us here.


  5. Thank you so much for sharing this. Such an important reminder to be aware of our language and the widespread impacts it can have. We still have such a long way to go to reach gender equality, and I appreciate your attention and action toward getting us there! I’d be very interested to see what a non-binary gender approach would add to the conversation.
    Great post!


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